Nina Martin has known since her diagnosis of cardiac arrhythmia at the latest that her life could be over at any time. However, she finds this positive.
Interview about sudden death
First footballer Christian Eriksen, who collapsed out of the blue, then the man who died in the tram on his way to work last week and rode for six hours through Zurich without anyone noticing his death. What goes through your mind when such events happen?
Like most people, I was shocked at first. But I can also empathise very well because I have experienced first-hand what it is like when your body suddenly gives up on you. But I am glad that I realised so early on that life is finite.
But we all know that. Why are we always so amazed?
Good question. I was surprised myself, how surprised I was. When something like what happened to Eriksen happens, everyone nods knowingly and maybe says something like "Life is short" and looks concerned and then changes the subject. Very few people really understand.
Should one's finiteness be constantly on one's mind?
Yes. I see a lot of positive things in it. Because you always think about whether you are satisfied with your life. I just wonder how you can manage to keep your own finiteness in mind.
Can you?
Yes, I have an unfair advantage though because I have a defibrillator inside me. When my heart gets out of rhythm in between, it feels like someone is flicking my heart. It happens in all sorts of situations. Shopping, in the home office, in the waiting room. I have a built-in memento mori, so to speak.
But having death in front of your eyes all the time is depressing.
Yes, it is a pretty frightening topic. But after my diagnosis, I realised that death is not only about dying, suffering or mourning, but also has a lot to do with life. I decided to deal with this positive aspect. I want to try to find out what a life worth dying is.
You have fainted and almost died around 25 times since your youth.
Yes, but for many years they thought they were epileptic seizures. I was only diagnosed with cardiac arrhythmia in my mid-20s. Since then, my defibrillator has brought me back several times. So I can say quite specifically on which days I could have died, statistically speaking.
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Source: SonntagsZeitung, Published: 03.07.2021, Denise Jeitziner, Photo: Jana Grasselt
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